THE DEFY AGING NEWSLETTER
a biweekly e-mail newsletter for helping people grow young and live with purpose
Focusing on the Psychology of Aging, Positive Psychology, and Health and Wellness

These newsletter articles may be reprinted in E-zines, newsletters, newspapers, and magazines provided they the content is not edited and the following attribution is given:
"Dr. Michael Brickey is President of the Ageless Lifestyles Institute and author of
Defy Aging. His new book, 52 baby steps to Grow Young, gives two-page-a-week practical steps for developing a youthful mindset at every age. Further information is at www.DrBrickey.com and www.52babysteps.com." Formatting may be changed and you may use one of the web site pictures of the author to accompany the article.
 

Articles: 117 Happiness Insurance 116 Helpful Delusions 115 Senior Moments Cop Outs 114 Optimism: The Mental Placebo 113 Future Health Resources 112 Money and Happiness 111 Love and Sex after 60 110 Perks of Being over 60: Sex and Relationships

[Other archived issues are in the process of being added.]

May 15, 2005         Number 117
Happiness Insurance

The patient is in a nursing home, no longer able to walk, in a lot of pain,
and has multiple health problems. I'm thinking that she is going to be
terribly depressed. Instead, she tells me how blessed she is and she seems
to be truly happy. I've experienced this so many times I am no longer surprised.

When a people experience a loss, they us usually experience some grieving
or depression--which may last for hours or months. Then they typically
revert to their previous level of happiness. In nursing homes, for a few months most
are "grieving" over their loss of health, independence, privacy, and palatable food.
Then they start reverting to their baseline or normal level of happiness (or unhappiness).
The extreme optimists don't even experience the grieving, they are grateful to still be alive
and appreciate how wonderful the staff are (which in turn makes them the staff's
favorite patients).

Consider Christopher Reeves. After his accident, he went through a period of depression.
Logically, we might expect him to be miserable the rest of his life. Though, initially
not even able to breathe without mechanical help, his upbeat personality reemerged and
he adopted a determination to talk and walk. He also took a leadership position in fund raising.

The phenomenon isn't limited to health problems and loss. Lottery winners are on a high for
several months and then revert to their previous level of happiness or unhappiness.
Boston Red Socks fans thought heaven had arrived when they broke the Curse
of the Bambino and won the World Series. After a few weeks, life returned to
normal. Graduation bliss lasts a few weeks. Marital bliss typically lasts for several months.

So the good news is that even if bad things happen to you, after awhile, you will be
happy again. You have happiness insurance and the premiums were free.
How can you up your baseline for happiness? That's the topic of the next issue.

Americans have an abiding belief in their ability to control reality by purely material means
....airline insurance replaces the fear of death with the comforting prospect of cash.
~Cecil Beaton

That's the really neat thing about Dan Quayle, as you must have realized from the first
moment you looked into those lovely blue eyes: impeachment insurance.
~Barbara Ehrenreich on George Bush Sr.'s selection of a running mate

Sergeant Jones advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance.
Jones had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which had never happened before. Why?
Jones explained that "If you have GI Insurance and go into battle and are killed, the government 
has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. If you don't have GI insurance, and you go into battle
and get killed, the government has to pay only a maximum of $6,000."
"Now," he concluded, "which bunch do you think they're going to send into battle first?______________________________________________________________________

May 1, 2005         Number 116
Helpful Delusions

In a recent psych consult a rather fit gentleman told me he was 63.
I asked when he was born and  he said 1911. I asked if he remembered
World War II and he said he was in school then. I wrote
   2005
 -1911
and asked him to do the subtraction. He accurately computed 94.
"Something's wrong." he said. "I'm only 63."
Despite further questions, his belief was unshakeable.

We have many beliefs that are difficult to prove but help us be more successful.
One is our religious beliefs. Others include believing that you make a difference and
Einstein's belief that "the world is a friendly place." There is a great deal of research
that optimists are healthier and more successful than pessimists. Many successful
people attribute their success to first believing they were successful (even though
others and external trappings suggested they were not).

I once had an young anorexic client tell me she was fat. I asked her go to the
bathroom, look in the mirror, and draw what she saw in the mirror. As it happens,
the mirror was only above the sink. The top half of her drawing looked like a normal
person. The bottom half ballooned into obesity. Another interesting delusion is men
who are convinced they are really women trapped in a man's body.

Yes, that rather fit 94 year old gentleman had some dementia. Yet his belief about his age
helped keep him looking and feeling much younger. Perhaps we could learn something
from him. Fortunately, you don't have to be demented to choose to believe in a "delusion."

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.
~Kurt Vonnegut

The greatest discovery of my generation is that man can alter his life
simply by altering his attitude of mind.
~William James

A haggard man enters the psychologist's office and stuffs a cigarette up his nose.
"I see you really need me," said the psychologist.
"I sure do." the man said, "Do you have a light?"

An avid duck hunter had a new retriever that could walk on water.
He invited his pessimistic friend to join him on a duck hunt.
A flock of ducks flew by and he shot one. The dog skipped
across the water and retried the bird, getting little more than his paws wet. 
"Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?" he said.
His pessimistic friend replied, "I sure did. He can't swim." 

______________________________________________________________________

April 17, 2005         Number 115
Senior Moments Cop Out

Ages Baby Boomers

Baby Boomers want everything instantly—including their memory.

When their memory isn’t instant, they give up and lament, “I’m having

a senior moment.” Few beliefs age Boomers faster than not trusting

their memory and copping out by claiming a senior moment.

Too many Boomers attribute “insufficient memory at this time” to

inevitable neural deterioration that “goes with aging.” Rarely is the problem

due to aging. When stressed, tired, sleep deprived, ill, or taking certain

medications, memory suffers. As you age, your “processing speed” slows

a little and you can’t concentrate on quite as many things at once.

There also is a lot more information to search. The solution is to trust

your memory and tell yourself, “It will come to me.” It’s amazing how

a few minutes later, it pops into you mind.

Sensing a gullible market, a supplement company marketed “Senior Moment,”

which the FTC ruled (8-12-04) provided unsubstantiated claims that it could

prevent memory loss or restore memory function. Certainly some Boomers

impair their memory with alcohol abuse, extreme dieting or poor nutrition.

In these cases the problem will likely clear up with drinking less, eating better, and taking

a daily multiple vitamin in case the diet isn’t meeting vitamin and mineral needs.

Also exploiting the concept is a board game titled Senior Moments.

Boomers may fear memory lapses are Alzheimer’s disease. Alzheimer’s is rare before

age 65. Even at 65, only 7 in 1000 Americans have it. Symptoms that that tend to

differentiate Alzheimer’s and other dementias from stress can include: becoming lost

or disoriented on familiar trips, forgetting names of relatives and close friends,

forgetting how to perform familiar tasks, losing initiative, and friends commenting on

personality changes. Alzheimer’s and other dementias are diseases caused by damage

to the brain and are not the normal course of aging.

God gave us memory that we might have roses in December.
~Sir James Barrie, author of Peter Pan

Wife: How could you forget my birthday?
Quick thinking husband: How do you expect me to remember your birthday
   when you never look any older?

I sometimes worry about my short attention span, but not for very long.
~Herb Caen
________________________________________________________________________

April 3, 2005         Number 114
Optimism: The Mental Placebo

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an

optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
~Sir Winston Churchill

Results? Why, man, I have gotten lot of results! If I find 10,000 ways
something won’t work, I haven’t failed. I am not discouraged, because
every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward. Just because
something doesn’t do what you planned it to do doesn’t mean it’s useless.
~Thomas Edison

If you liked Placebo, be sure to try Placebo Plus--with 33% more
inert ingredients.

The difference between an optimist and a pessimist--
The optimist invented the airplane. The pessimist, the parachute.
_________________________________________________________________________

March 20, 2005         Number 113
Future Health Resources

I love the Statue of Liberty. I know she will get some wear and tear.

It’s comforting to know that in a few decades when she needs

major maintenance again, the technology for helping her be her best

will be even better than we have today. The trick is keeping her

in reasonably good shape until the next major maintenance.

We too can have faith that if we take reasonably good care of ourselves,

technology will give us some awesome help. Consider a few examples:

~In 1991 I had a groin hernia repair. It was several days before I could

walk normally. Today the surgery is far les invasive.

Last year my then 83 year old father had a similar hernia repair. After the surgery

he drove himself home and even stopped on the way for breakfast at a restaurant.

~Different people metabolize medications differently resulting in only an

estimated 25-60% of medications not being dosed effectively. In June an

FDA approved matchbox sized computer chip will be marketed for analyzing

your blood sample and determining how you would metabolize a wide variety

of hypertensive, antidepressant, seizure, cancer, and heartburn medications.

~Physicians have attached a miniature video camera on glasses. The camera

relays the signal to an implant in the retina, which passes the input to the optic nerve.

This enables people with conditions such as retinitis pigmentosa and macular

degeneration to see again. (The current version is crude until the number of pixels

increases.) The technology is expected to be commercially available in 2-3 years.

~Stem cells are being implanted to heart muscles to grow new heart muscle.

Research is showing progress in using stem cells to even replace brain cells.

Will your body show wear and tear over the years? Of course. Will the resources

for enhancing your health be greatly improved by then? You bet!

We need not be afraid of the future, for the future will be in our own hands.

~Thomas Dewey

The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today.

Let us move forward with strong and active faith.

~Franklin Delano Roosevelt

After all, tomorrow is another day.

~Scarlett O’Hara, Gone with the Wind

On his 82^nd birthday a young photographer said to Sir Winston Churchill,

“I hope I may have the privilege of taking your picture when you are 100.

Churchill replied, “No reason you shouldn’t if you continue to look after your health.
__________________________________________________________________

March 6, 2005         Number 112
Money and Happiness

David Myers’ classic study of happiness found that

between 1960 and 1990 Americans’ income,

adjusted for inflation, doubled but the percentage

rating themselves very happy remained constant at 30%.

Does the relationship hold? Any study is merely

a photograph in time, from one perspective.

The more photos, the better we understand the picture.

Last year Science magazine (pp. 1829-37) reported on

a survey of 42,000 US scientists and their career satisfaction.

The scientists included professionals and postdocs in universities,

research facilities, medical facilities, and self-employment

settings. For all categories between 60% and 75% rated

themselves as “very satisfied.”

Average salaries ranged from 51K to 99K and there was

no relationship between income and satisfaction.

The exception was professionals in the highest paid group

(99K)--Pharmaceuticals. Only 22% were satisfied.

Overall those in academic and self-employed settings

were happier than those in industry (though industry had

higher salaries). As one respondent put it, “I can’t believe

they pay me to do what otherwise would be my hobby.”

Retirement ages are getting later and later. Among academics

almost 30% anticipated not retiring until 70 or older.

Would they choose a science career again? 70% said yes.

Why? To quote the article:

"A clear message from the respondents is 'love conquers all'…

following your bliss is the only sure way to be happy in the job, say

many of those surveyed."

QUOTES

Follow your bliss.

~Joseph Campbell

The mind is the source of all happiness and all misery

of both poverty and riches.

~Napoleon Hill

Adopting a child can bring you more happiness

than adopting a Cadillac.
~Melvin Durai

HUMOR

So you want to be happy, deliriously happy? Consider moving
to Nigeria. Nigerians are the happiest people in the world,
according to the World Values Survey. That doesn't surprise
me at all, because I keep receiving emails from Nigerians
eager to share their wealth with me.

 ~Melvin Durai

__________________________________________________________________

February 20, 2005         Number 111      
Love and Sex after 60:

It can be better than ever

ACTION TO TAKE

How can sex be better after sixty? Let me cite the ways:
1. no fear of pregnancy
2. no need for birth control (if in a monogamous relationship and no venereal diseases)
3. no worry about the kids overhearing
4. more time as child rearing is voluntary (grandparenting)
5. even more time if you are retired (think of how many times couples say, "not tonight honey, I'm too tired")
6. while men take longer to get an erection and it isn't as firm, many men have more control and last longer
7. it's the difference between guzzling beer and savoring a fine wine
8. it's real cooking instead of microwave cooking

Microwave cooking? In our youth, we can become sexually aroused quickly, and
passionately dive into sex with a can't wait to get to dessert mentality. Young men only need a modicum
of visual stimulation to be aroused. The whole tryst can happen as quickly as you could
microwave some popcorn. Older men need considerable, ongoing physical stimulation
to get a maintain an erection. Thus like real cooking, it's boil the water, stir in the ingredients,
and put a lot of love in it. Many men find themselves becoming more emotionally involved
in sex. Their partners notice and appreciate the difference.

Viagra, Levitra, and Cialis and its siblings have give many men the ability to continue
functioning when the desire is there but not enough blood is getting to and staying in the penis.
It also gives a security blanket for men who are not having problems currently, but fear
they might when they get older.

For women, the Women's Health Initiative study found that the risks outweigh the benefits
for most women for  conventional estrogen + Premarin hormone replacement for menopause.
Hopefully, this opens the door for more study of the risks and benefits for bioidentical hormone
replacement tailored to a woman's unique hormonal profile based on testing the levels of all of
the hormones and unique risk factors.

This is not to say that all seniors are interested in sex. A sizeable number of women, in particular,
never enjoyed sex much anyway and are just as happy "not to have to deal with it anymore."
And with women outliving men and more men dating younger women than older women,
many older women find they can't find an appropriate partner. (That's an issue I can address in
another issue of the newsletter.)

For those who because of disability, disease, or other problems cannot engage in intercourse,
hugging, cuddling, caressing, kissing, snuggling, massaging, and possibly oral sex can still make
for a fulfilling sexual life. With slow cooking, cake is good, even without the icing.