Columbus, Ohio 8-1-05
Most people's circle of
friends shrinks as they age. Researchers have assumed this was due to
depression, withdrawal, poorer health, less energy, cognitive decline, or
disengaging as a way to prepare for death. Research in the last decade,
however, paints a different picture.
Compared to younger people, older people tend to be more satisfied with
their relationships and feel stronger emotional bonds. Their emotional ties
with close friends and family tend to increase with age. Middle-aged people
and older people typically have a comparable number of close friends. Older
people, however, tend to invest more of their time in relationships with
close friends and family.
This is as it should be,
says Anti-Aging Psychologist Dr. Michel Brickey. "Youth is a time for
experimenting and trying out a lot possibilities--including different types
of friendships. As we age, we become clearer about what works for us, what
we want, and what is important."
Older people often say, "I don't have time for those people." Typically they
aren't referring to time management but a sense of having fewer years left
to live. They shift their values to place less emphasis on novelty and more
emphasis on quality--investing their time in the people who matter the most
to them. As Truman Capote put it, "Friendship is a pretty full-time
occupation if you are really friendly with somebody."
It is reassuring that researchers are beginning to paint a more positive
picture of aging in which we wisely cultivate friendships and family
relations. We are beginning to see that there are a lot of good things that
come with aging.
If we don't
make new friends, however, it is easy to feel life closing in. You may
wonder if you will be the last one standing. Dr. Brickey encourages people
to adopt a belief that
"no matter how old I am, even in my
hundreds, I am going to be making new friends."
It keeps you feeling young and expands your world.
Dr. Michael Brickey is President of the Ageless
Lifestyles Institute and author of the Oprah-featured book,
Defy Aging
and just released 52 baby steps to Grow Young. To learn about more
about the psychology of being youthful at every age, contact Dr. Brickey at
614-237-4556 or
DrBrickey@DrBrickey.com. Also see
www.DrBrickey.com
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